Seriously my life is so awkward.

I went to Denver hoping to gain some clarity out of my life and in some ways it did (I'll get to that point)...but in other ways it just confirmed my thought that my life is completely messy and totally awkward.

BOYS
You want to make out with me? Oh you have a girlfriend or are seeing someone or are hanging out with FIVE OTHER PEOPLE? Sounds like something that would happen to me. But "I'm fine if you're fine....ha right?

WORK
You want to blame me, your social worker, for your failed marriage, relationship with your child, and now the potential dead fetus in your fiance's belly?? Ok...I'll try not to take that personally.

FRIENDS
It's your birthday today??? OHHHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Are you kidding me? Remember when you at my birthday party....IN THE SUMMER? (oh wait none of you made it to my birthday for some reason....) But we are the 11 best friends that anyone has ever had.


First and foremost- I only attract people who have issues. I have no idea why that is. I have never been with someone who is normal or stable. I am also very neurotic myself so my roommate thinks I need someone calm that will balance me out...even the calm people tend to fool you and they are just as messed up as you are. Number two..things are ALWAYS awkward with boys with me. I don't like people and the second I do...something is totally awkward about the situation. I say one thing and do another. I mean one thing but do another. I act one way but mean completely the opposite. I care too much, but say nothing. I act like things do not matter to me...when a glance, a picture, or a simple sentence might mean something much more. In the past two and a half years I have been nothing more than the other girl in every single situation I have been in when it comes to guys. I have no idea why I appear to be that kind of girl (I always thought I was the bring her home to mom type). But apparently people think I'm easy to run over. Which obviously I am. SO- reading this below blog...how to get your shit together at 25 (ish). About relationships- drop the ones that will not matter at the end of the day...probably perfect advice to me. Since I clearly am constantly surrounding myself with people that do not care about me...I should probably be focusing on things that matter more than that. Also..getting myself out of debt. YES. LORD knows Marquette University racked up the student loans to the extreme. Find a hobby...do things that matter. Stop living your life in happy hour. Waking up with a hangover is the worst...we're getting too old for that stuff. Be someone..make something of your life. At the end of the year...I want to be happy with the person I am. I'm not so sure I am at this point. So my goal for next year is to attempt to get to that point.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/25956-11-things-to-know-at-25ish

The trip to Denver made me remember the amazing friends that I have and will have have for the rest of my life.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/make-friends-like-its-the-sandlot-or-stand-by-me/

I love this blog. Make friends like its the Sandlot. Make friends who will tease you when you're new but keep you forever. Make friends who will do anything for adventure. Make friends who are there for you when your parents aren't. Make friends who have emotional baggage...its called NORMALCY. Make friends who will make you stop and realize the beauty in life. Make friends..and keep friends who would die for you. And make friends that would find death with you. I have those friends. My friends are amazing. Anyone that reads this blog is that type of friend...I was blessed with the best friends in the entire world.

Tiny, but Dangerous.

The homeless man that digs through the dumpster behind our apartment calls me "little one." The men that sit by Alterra in which I walk past to get by coffee call me "short stuff."
I get called "kiddo" on a regular basis. My friends have often referred to me as "tiny."
Ever since grade school, I was getting called names such as "shrimp" or "munchkin" due to my height and tiny stature. I was out at the bar with a friend and my dad and this woman bumped into my friend and turned to apologize and saw me and proceeded to make a "oh my she's so little" comment and even made hand gesture's while doing so.

Here's a warning...I would not get in my way. I'm not quite sure many people have actually seen me mad. I would probably say the only person that could honestly say they have seen me ACTUALLY mad is my ex boyfriend. And I bet he would agree with the subject line of this blog. I do not get mad easily but if you do something that pisses me off...watch out. It will not be worth it. I do not hold grudges and can handle most situations and even tend to let boundaries be pushed way further and longer than they should be...but when I get pissed boy do I get PISSED. And you will probably not want to get in my way after you see that I am pissed.

Also my voice does not match my body. I asked my boss to write my a recommendation for grad school yesterday...he rolled his eyes, then jokingly threw it in the garbage can, all while sort of agreeing to write it. I proceeded to tell him I'm sure he has plenty of positive things to say about me..but to please leave out the fact that I tend to be overly sarcastic. He then told me that I should not tell him to lie and also not to tell him what to do (mind you he is also overly sarcastic). Point of the story is...I originally started grad school last year for counseling so today I decided he seemed to be in a negative mood and I asked him if he wanted to talk about it...which turned into me loudly telling him to start thinking more positive. Thus him telling me it was a good thing I quit counseling because I would make a terrible therapist. I want my coworkers to remember the tiny...but dangerous part too sometimes. :) Although he's probably right on the whole making a terrible therapist front.

I have always said I need to marry someone who is over 6 feet tall so my kids have a chance to have some height on them. It probably will not happen though because I'm sure I'm destined to marry someone who is like 5'7" or something and besides...tall guys never like short girls forever. That's a fact. But a girl can dream..right?

Anyways point being....don't think that I'm easy to run over just because I'm short...I can be terrifying so remember that.

We all want to have our cake and eat it too right?

Life is confusing. We all want what we can't have and once we obtain that...we usually don't really want it anymore. Nothing makes sense and everyone is greedy...including myself. I talk this big game and think i'm this amazing person but at the end of the day I play the same game as everyone else maybe in just a different way.

For example...we go to school, graduate, and get a job. But that's still not enough. We want to go back to school to pursue a higher degree and get a better paying job. It's all about competition to get to the next level of where we could potentially make more money and gain higher credibility within our career worlds.

Everyone knows I'm awkward so I never say the right thing or go about anything the right way. I don't say what I mean or do what I want to. I act weird, look sideways, and walk away. Maybe thats why I am where I am today.

Off to Denver next weekend. My life plan is to become a world traveler. This year was a good start. I made it to D.C., New York, and Denver :)

Everything happens for a reason....right?

My mom's motto in life was always that everything happens for a reason..I suppose that was due to the fact that she went through so much heartbreak throughout her life and still managed to pull through it. I fully believed her, and still do, although it was tough to see that when she left me, but I do still think that everything does happen for a reason. Although at the time it is hard to understand why, I'm not sure we're always supposed to. With Thanksgiving coming near...this will be my third one without my mom. It is completely insane to me that I have lasted this long without her. Truth? I could have cared less in the first year if I got hit by a bus. I have never hurt that bad. But time does heal and life does go on. I'm here to write about it and I do feel as though life has a purpose, yet when life gets tough I wish she was here to help me out. I don't normally talk about her as much anymore..I'm not sure why...partly because it still sucks and partly because I feel as though others think its just "over and done with." Whatever the reason, this time of year brings her to the front and center of my mind.

My mom was the type of person that could make me (or anyone..my friends know this) feel better about anything. No matter what the problem I was having, I could call her and life would seem just a little bit better. I haven't found anyone (and I know I never will) like her. I am thankful for having her for as long as I did in my life. I'm thankful that she raised me to the be the person that I am today.

My job makes me realize and appreciate my mom and the rest of my family even more. I see these families not care about each other on a daily basis and it breaks my heart. Being a social worker is hard work. Sometimes you are punching bag and you are the person to blame for all the problems and I'm trying to remember not to take it home with me (which I clearly did today :( )

Alright this entry is way too sappy and lame. Real quick I'm also thankful for my friends and job and family and etc!!

Now....on another note I hate my cat...she is very smelly and gross and poops everywhere. Whoever wants her can have her!

"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets." -Arthur Miller

I have a crazy job...I ever wonder if I will regret it. But funny things happen to me at my job...like my nine year old kid was talking to a cop at McDonalds about what he needed to do to become a cop and guess who that cop happened to be? The Wauwatosa police that asked me to testify for him against the man who hit me with the BMW...small world.

I only hope I end up with the right regrets in life. Like, choosing to go to Marquette, was a (god forbid) last minute decision. I was going to go to (OH no she wouldnt!)UWM but I had a last minute tour (thanks to my elementary school friends' dad who had some pull at the university). BUT, if I had went to UWM would I have regretted it? Or would I have come the out of there with a solid group of friends that my other friends around Milwaukee seem to have that I'm not sure I do have from college. Now, that's not to say my friends from college are not great...because they are (you girls know who you are)...but I have always felt as though I did not quite fit in. Like, I wasn't the same...maybe it's cuz I grew up in the middle of corn fields driving dirt bikes, snowmobiles, and four wheelers for fun and they grew up riding bicycles down the neighborhood cul de sacs in the suburb of Chicagos. This is isn't bad...just different. Or maybe its because I ditched them for two years in college for a boyfriend...that could be it. Whatever the reason...we have regrets right? But we do things for a reason at the time, I wonder if at the end of the day we are satisfied with that decision?

I am a hasty person. I make rash decisons. I have slight ADHD. I can't sit still..and I hate being bored. On the flip side, I'm always afraid of making the wrong decision or doing or saying something the other person will not want me to do or say. I've learned this can be detrimental at work, in friendships, or in personal relationships. Be yourself. That's the only thing you can do to ensure that life goes the way it is supposed to. Don't pretend.

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Right? I think we all use humor as a defense mechanism. I know I do..maybe a bit too much..but hey whose judging? If i'm nervous...I make a joke..people laugh. I feel better. When I'm uncomfortable or angry...I use humorous sarcasm...it seems to work.

And always remember....

"A man is not old until regrets take the place of his dreams." - John Barrymore

Is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 24?

It seems like everyone has it all together around me. Job, relationship, living situation, school. Maybe it appears that I have it all together as well. I'm good at faking it...always have been...always will be. Unless you're my really good friend...then you know I'm slightly neurotic (ok maybe slightly was not the word to use). I tend to panic and worry and think that I'm never doing what I should be. So as of right now, to the normal outside observer, I appear to be a normal functioning 24 year-old who has stable employment and an otherwise stable life. And actually it probably appears that way to most of my friends as well...only the lucky ones know that inside I'm overanalyzing every aspect of my otherwise perfectly normal life.

Employment. My job is great...I'm ridiculously lucky to have a job that gets me the experience this is giving me in the social work field. But at times I go home wanting to pull my hair out or wanting to vomit because of what someone said to me or just what happened. I also have this tendency to be lazy---AKA I have been meaning to apply to grad school for a while now and just have not done it. Well good news is I'm almost done with UWM's application and will be beginning Loyola's after that!

Friends. THIS is normal. I have the most amazing friends ever. I actually have a plethora of friends all from various groups. (St. Charles) Work friends. High school friends. College friends. (TLP) Work friends. (Spinnakers) Work friends. Roommates college friends that are now kind of my friends too. Gym friends. So on and so forth. I'm lucky because some of my closest friends are from high school and not most people can say that. Those people have been there for me through the worst of the worst.

Relationships. What are those? I think I only know the meaning of unhealthy relationships. I run from any sort of commitment unless it has the hidden meaning of "unhealthy" attached to it..then hey I'm all for it! Or maybe I run from anyone that is interested in me and run towards anyone that is not. Either way in the end I always am the one who ends up hurt...which is the point of running from ANY sort of commitment whether that be a relationship, dating, or just sex. I just want someone to cuddle with at night...isn't that what we all what at the end of the day...really?

Family. My dad has a new girlfriend. He is bringing her and her family to Thanksgiving. Too soon? Yes, I think so. I do not want to go. But, I can't tell him this. I'm just not ready to deal with another set of awkward family situations. I deal with awkward family situations in my work life...I do not want to go home to it...on holidays especially. Holidays are hard enough without my mom...

Money. Financially I'm falling apart. I work three jobs and I'm barely making it by. Granted I spend my money like an idiot (sure...I'll go to D.C., NYC, and Denver all in the same year!), but I better be finding my rich man soon (NOW that might be worth making a commitment for!) I have student loans coming out of my ears, hospital bills, and credit card bills.

So I'm hoping 2012 has more to offer me...either that or the Mayan calendar may be right and the world just ends!

Pretty is as pretty does

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/things-pretty-people-shouldnt-do/

read this blog its funny.

Things pretty people shouldn't do. I know, I know, we all complain that we are not pretty...blah blah. I'm not gonna be the one to say I'm ugly...hey I grew up in a two parent household where I was told I was pretty everyday. Plus..my parents both had nice faces...so although they are (were) both midgets that have to watch their weight...I came out with a decent looking face by which I mean I do not have any abnormally large ears, nose, or crooked eyes to complain about. Also...I got some crazy colored eyes. Basically I'm the type of girl you can bring home to mom...right? BUT by no means am I the type of girl that can roll out of bed (by friends (and "friends") know this by my morning bedhead) and strut to the store lookin like I own the place....but I think its fair to say that there are many "pretty people" out there that can.

First....Pretty people should not complain about getting hit on because the truth of the matter is it happens to everyone in some way, shape, or form. Usually, for me , it tends to be in the form of short Mexican's or 16 year old boys (probably because they think I'm 16) but hey whose counting?

Second, don't say you hate how you look in a picture because if you actually hated how you looked it definitely would not be on the internet. Definitely true...I untag the shit out of pictures that I think I look fat in or if my face looks weird.

They then go on to talk about how pretty people complain that they only get jobs because they are pretty or their friends are only friends with them because of how they look. Riiiight.

Anyways, it seems sometimes as if life would be easier if we were all that "pretty person" who could just walk into a room and turn heads...but I'd rather keep my awkwardness, sarcasm and quick wit. I'm sure someday some poor sorry man will appreciate it :)

Me awkward? UH YES

This is my life story. I live an awkward live with periods or fleeting moments where things appear normal...and then reality hits and its not normal anymore. I am awkward in the morning, in the afternoon, and even before I go to bed at night (even if I am sleeping alone). I'm awkward during meetings at work (and I have to run them), on the treadmill at the gym, or even at a bar when I'm slightly intoxicated. Now, I think it is fair to say that there are times I am good at hiding this awkwardness (say at work at times...although my coworkers (and clients) would agree to the fact that there is nothing normal about me) but for the most part my awkwardness shines bright. This was the cause of bright red faces when teachers called on me at school or the dreaded part where you had to blow out those damn birthday candles on the cake. God forbid dating....I remember my first awkward kiss in the back of a minivan (we're not counting my kindergarden kiss at the Halloween party) or the first time I got a dozen roses (I was 15 years old..it was at school in the hallway for our MONTH ANNIVERSARY. Needless to say I shoved them in my locker and went about my day. Now thats not to say with age I haven't gotten better with accepting gifts from boyfriends (you better believe I graciously snagged that Tiffany's necklace my EX gave me for Christmas one year) but that does not mean I'm still overly weird about it. Compliments....I do not know what to do with them. You look pretty...thanks? I tend to change the subject..ignore them..look out the window...find a bug to kill..anything to get off of the subject of ME. Which is interesting because I love to talk maybe even sometimes about myself...also I am a Gemini, thus we are outgoing (true), crazy (also true), selfish (possibly?), but I dont like others talking about me to me..thats just weird! I'm also an only child (I know, I know...omg you must be such a spoiled brat?!). Unfortunately...but fortunately I grew up with two wonderful (but slightly annoying) cousins that lived next door to me. Everything they got (or didn't get) I got (or didn't get). So living life as a 24 year old awkward girl is slightly difficult. Thank goodness I have had my friends forever because new friends would think I'm a nut job (true story...right friends?). Dating is pretty much out of the question for me...dinner with someone I do not know?? Are you crazy? I mean they will definitely try to kill me and chop me up into little pieces and shove me into their freezer..Jeffrey Dahmer style. So I go about my life in my Awkward Angie way. I'm glad I have friends to take crazy trips to places such as NYC with me to navigate through my awkwardness!

Did you know you get paid to be a witness?

So I received a check in the mail from the Wauwatosa Police Department for a whopping $7...this was for testifying as a witness for them. I thought if you were supeanoed as a witness you just had to go. Well, now I'm $7 richer! Wahoo.

Life is just so odd at the age of 24. I never thought my life would be how it is..say four years ago. Four years ago I would have said I would still be with my ex boyfriend living with him in Milwaukee, working in public relations, and hanging out with my mom in my free time. Psh...fast forward four years....

I am a boyfriendless, momless, social worker, Milwaukeean who lives with two cats. It's like fours company...with two cats. EW

Last night I went out to Lakefront Brewery tour with my dad and his new girlfriend and my cousin. It was pretty fun. Their fish fry is actually really good. And of course you get pretty drunk on that tour. So that is a positive. And then I became an old lady and went to bed at 10:30 PM when I got home..haha.

I got a temporary crown put on after having a root canal..the dentist told me not to chew gum or eat candy. So what did I do? Went to work and ate candy and chewed some gum. What do you think happened? My tooth fell out in my gum! I had to get an emergency appointment and get it back in. Can you say that of course this would happen to me?

I go to New York with some of my best girlfriends in a couple of weeks...too bad I don't have more money to blow! haha. It's a much needed trip to get away with some girls though.

Labor Day Weekend is too long

Originally I was going to go up north for the extended weekend but that kind of fell through so instead I waitressed on Friday and was responsible and went home after making all kind of money. It was a ridiculously busy night to be a server which meant bitchy customers, lots of sweat, and other cranky coworkers. BUT on the upside it meant lots of money. Saturday I finally took my cat, Wino, to the vet. I've had her for just about a year and I just got around to getting her shots...which they have to give her in the butt. I almost fainted watching that. It would have been the TB test all over again. Once I went with my ex boyfriend for a TB test and the nurse had me come in and hold his hand because he was scared. Well after he was done, they thought he was going to faint so they were holding him up and the next thing I know, I had passed out on the ground and hit my head on the bed going down. Yes...true story. After the vet, I went out to celebrate my cousin's 21st birthday with my family (mind you we already celebrated earlier this week...which turned into a bunch of us going to a real classy strip club (yes this is my life (awkward i know))) So we went out for some dinner with my cousins, one of their girlfriends, my uncle and his girlfriend. My family loves to drink. So we of course go to another bar after that before heading to Water street to meet my dad (yup true story) and his friends. AND HIS GIRLFRIEND (let me tell you how awkward this is). This is my dad's first girlfriend since my mom died and i'm learning to deal with it, she's a nice lady and all but the whole idea of it still really sucks. But anways we went to this little irish bar on Water street so we could celebrate my cousins birthday again all together. It was a fun time...of course we stayed out till bar time though which is too late because my coworker invited me to a marathon bus pub crawl thing on Sunday which began at 11 AM. Starting to drink at 11 AM is not the best idea. But we thought it was going to be "sooooo fun." We got t-shirts and everything!!!! Well anyways, we made it until 10 PM and then a bouncer would not let us into the next bar even though i was adamently trying to convince him of multiple reasons why we should be allowed in. His reponse? And you just slurred that ENTIRE sentence. And my coworker was dancing on the sidewalk while I was arguing (what I thought was SUCH a good case haha). So we went home and went to bed. THEN Monday = junk parade in the town from where I am from. It's the most white trashtastic thing you will ever see. A bunch of hicks in their junky shit...in a parade. YES. So I did that and then went to bed around 6 PM and slept for a good 12 hours...success! GOAL? Take a small break from drinking...but if you refer back to my last post that never works out. Maybe I'll just give up boys instead...they're stupid anyways right? Now that its Tuesday I'm back to my responsible life of work and Insanity (which is KILLING me!) Clearly I could not do insanity yesterday so that was my day off. Wish me luck!

Seven Things A Twentysomething Can Do « Thought Catalog

Seven Things A Twentysomething Can Do « Thought Catalog

Being a twenty-something is weird.

Read the blog that I posted before this...its pretty comical and completely accurate to my life. My anxiety level is definitely out of the roof...anyone that knows me very well would label me as a bit neurotic.. I tend to overanalyze everything and worry constantly. I have tried to change that as I have matured...although I think it has only gotten worse with age, instead of the reverse. As I sit here blogging (on a Friday night mind you..yes I am THAT cool tonight) I am already overanalyzing this blog. The other thing about that blog that made me laugh is the part where we change our minds...on ourselves....i'm never drinking again and then two days later we're off to the next party with our friends. That is exactly true even though every morning you wake up after a long night of drinking you tell yourself you will never put your body through that again...only to turn around and do it again a week later. On dating...one minute you're totally into someone and the next you find someone that totally annoys you. I don't date first of all. I get awkward around boys. I like to think I just spend time with boys. I also tend to run away from anyone that likes me. I am not sure why I do this, it is an awful habit that I have developed because I am probably running away from potentially amazing opportunities. I get all nervous and weird when it comes to commitment...which is kind of ironic considering I was in a relationship with someone FOREVER (or it felt like). So instead I just hang out with people until they get too mushy and awkward and then I run away (so beware). Maybe someday I will find the person that makes me want to stay. Talk about sex more than having it..that's funny and probably true. Again with dating...you have to put yourself out there which could lead to rejection...etc and who wants to deal with awkward oh my god is it okay conversation anyways. Not saying it's not worth it...just that we can't all be like Chelsea Handler and write a book about our horizonal life and make it okay. :) Or be an ass like Tucker Max and really not give a shit about anything (which would be nice sometimes...hey?). OH P.S. I did learn how to take this blog off of my twitter in case any of my BFF's were wondering...so no randos will know too much about me!! In other news...my life is still a bit of a mess. I dropped my keys down the elevator shaft after doing a 5 K for work so I had to wait for someone to come dig them out of the scary basement elevator part. My phone broke a couple days after that so I had to get a new one. I got another parking ticket (go figure). I don't really flinch anymore when things like this happen...I figure that for all the bad (or negative luck) that I have...there HAS to be something amazing coming my way...right? RIGHT? Well hey on the bright side...I don't live above Nana in a one bedroom in bunk beds with three people and a cat anymore!!

They thought I was a cat

So this weekend I went with my roommate to her sisters 21st birthday party at her family's house. Her parents have come to visit a couple of times in Milwaukee and everytime I was gone for various reasons so they were beginning to think I was a cat and did not really exist. So upon my arrival...I announced that I did, in fact, exist..but her grandma...who they call grandma sugar just could not remember my name all night so kept just calling me Kitty...which translated into everyone calling me Kitty. I actually stopped responding to my real name and only would answer to Kitty. Her family was a riot though and were all up to party until 2 AM minus her grandma had to cut her short around midnight. Then we went to a wedding the next night..after celebrating her sisters birthday two nights in a row (and I also went out for another birthday on the evening before that) and then to top of it off with a wedding. I am lacking sleep and drank way too much. I am clearly too old to drink and not sleep for that many days in a row, but I did have a good time. Then on the drive home...I was driving my roommates car and the gas pedal got stuck while the cruise control was on...which resulted in the car speeding up to 110 mph and I could not brake or turn the cruise off or get the gas pedal unstuck. The engine was also not shifting so it was just about red lining....we thought we were going to die. Then all the sudden I slammed on the gas pedal and it came loose. SO needless to say I really am bad luck in a car. Now this weekend is my friend who was in Americorps birthday party..which we are having in Milwaukee at our apartment and it is going to be princess themed and I am going to try to make it to State Fair at least once.

There are never three lanes on a city street

So I had to testify for the Wauwatosa police department because the guy that hit me in the BMW with his SUV was contesting the ticket that the police officer gave him for unsafe lane deviation. After waiting for an hour for the case trial to be called, the guy (representing himself) tried to tell the judge that there were three lanes and he was in the right lane (possibly the middle) and the accident was caused by me. His only cross examination question to me was what time I had to be to work that day (he was trying to prove I was speeding...I was in second gear...the light JUST turned green). This was also after the police officer told the judge that in his police report the guy admitted he was slowing down to look at the price of gas and decided at the last second the price was low enough and made last minute decision to go into the gas station.....(FROM THE LEFT LANE...INTO ME!) Judge thought he was crazy and told him no matter what he has to look over his shoulder before making a right turn...so found him guilty. WIN WIN. Cop thanked me and asked if I needed a walk to my car...just in case this guy wanted to pummel me after getting his money from his insurance and now with my testimony causing him to pay his damn fine. I told the cop with a smile, i'd be just fine...and made sure the stupid guy in the Yukon saw my nice fixed up BMW drive away! Oh interesting stories! Then I made sure to rush over to my married friends new house in Butler to watch the Bachelorette...I had to make sure to make it for hot JP...who if she does not choose him...I will find him and I WILL marry him. So everyone knows out there...he IS MINE. Now I must get off to bed since I have been crazy lately and have been getting my ass up for 6 AM runs.

Good day to Skydive!

Today I went skydiving..it had been something that my cousin and I had been talking about for the past couple of years. It was his first time on a plane and he jumped off it..the adrenaline rush was insane. I live for that kind of thrill..which makes me a bit nervous. I was not nervous at all until half of my body was hanging out of the plane and the guy I was jumping with pushed me out of the plane..but the free fall from 14,000 feet was surreal. I even remembered to pull the parachute out at the right time...so I am definitely wanting to do it again..I think next time we are going to go solo! It is very expensive though..which boggles my mind..we paid $140 to possibly die?! Which we watched a video explaining that we could, in fact, die from jumping out of a plane...no....really?! I could have gone 50 more times after that though...I LOVED IT! I am trying to live my life at the seat of my pants these days...Arkansas...sure? Skydiving..why not? So I am going to NYC with 5 of my girlfriends in October...we are staying in a hotel right in Times Square. I am unbelieveably excited for it...i'm sure it will be ridiculously expensive but definitely worth it. I hope to get down to Washington D.C. again to visit my BFF as well...and hopefully Denver when my other friend moves out there! I love having friends all over the country to visit...and obviously Michigan to visit my lesbian lovers soon. I am finally going to hang out with the girls that work at my gym..they are super nice and have constantly tried to make plans with me but I suck as a human being and am always busy...so today we are going to sit out on a patio and have a few drinks. I am running on three hours of sleep and my married friend invited me to Harry Potter...how I wanted to go with her...that sounds sooo much more fun than drinks and dinner BUT I am being moral and ethical (I think thats what she said..but that sounds odd to me), I think I have just ditched them too many times. I hope someday I'm rich and famous like Chelsea Handler. She's so funny. I told my coworker that when I become rich and famous I will hire her as my personal assistant and pay her $31,000 a year (thats $1,000 more than we make now) but I will also hire her a sexy pool boy to stare at). So I gotta get on the whole famous thing..then maybe the rich thing will follow. I have alot more funny things to write in here...I'm just nervous about who will eventually read them. Code names work I suppose?

The dumpster man calls me "Little One"

So since my seemingly interestingly life usually involves car issues...I will begin my blog with that. I drove my friends to our volleyball league (yes me in a volleyball league...and no I am not good..the boys usually crowd around me anytime the ball comes in the vicinity of me) and my car (the ghetto red Jetta) sounded like an airplane. We ignored it, I told them it was diesel and that it was fine.. (I wasn't convinced. There was alot of screaming and yelling to turn early which led me to almost hit a bicyclist (oops)...but I dropped them off and my roommate and I made it back safely. The next morning I got up and the car sounded even more like an airplane but...more like a broken airplane...so I called my superhero mechanic dad who advised me to drive it out to his house (mind you I'm leaving for Arkansas (yes I said Arkansas) tomorrow. So I drive it out...to my surprise I get to drive the BMW that JUST got fixed from being all smashed up. So I'm obviously delighted seeing as I have an extreme need for speed and a bit of a lead foot. I happily hop in the car and speed along my way to Milwaukee (safely of course). Then I get to work and I get a call from the Wauwatosa Police Officer who was on the scene of the accident with the BMW...apparently I am being supeoned to be a witness for him because the guy that hit me is contesting the ticket that he received of unsafe lane deviation...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The guy went from the left lane into the right lane with no turn signal to try to turn into the gas station and HIT me..so anyways its going to trial and I am required to testify on behalf of the police department. My life is so weird. Then this weekend I went to Arkansas to visit my friend that is serving in Americorps...she lives in a farmhouse (she is more of a city girl) in a ridiculous poor part of Arkansas. But she is doing good service work with at risk kids down there at a summer camp which was great to see....hits the social worker in me. More later...

Thank you Milwaukee parking police

Well this week started off with a $30 parking ticket..go figure..in college I (or my dad rather) probably paid the Milwaukee police department thousands of dollars in parking tickets. Probably paved a new road..or bought alot of doughnuts. Apparently you cannot be less than 4 feet away from the driveway...they probably had their tape measure with them. I'm on the list for a parking spot behind my building though (for a nice cheap price of $80 a month) although that will probably end up saving me in the long run!! The rest of the week was fine I suppose...summerfest started so my roommate and I decided to go watch the BIG BANG and see Meatloaf! I was partial to seeing Jack's Mannequin but she doesn't know who they are and she gave me a free ticket (apparently she's got amazing luck because she has won 4 free tickets). Then today rolled around and I find out my ex boyfriend is engaged...woohoo! Congrats...I wish him the most luck in the world (really I do mean this). It is funny timing though because you know you hit rock bottom in life when the last (and only) serious boyfriend you had gets engaged and your dad tells you that you n eed to get a boyfriend (IN THE SAME WEEK). This is my life and how it works out. For the record..I am happy for my ex boyfriend (we are still friends) and DAD I do not need a boyfriend...I am perfectly happy with my cat thankyouverymuch. Oh and my married friend thinks I should try out for the bachelor...I told her if I do I'm going to create as much drama as possible so I can become famous and be all over the tabloids. Think it'll work?

A (h) wkward

The title of this blog is to indicate the theme of my life...which is awkward. My married friend, who prefers to be called Esmerelda says I say the word, awkward weird; with an h. I'm not sure what she's talking about; all I know is that my life usually trends on the awkward route. I like to say awkward, others like to say interesting. IN fact, it is usually so interesting that my friends have told me they would read about my entertaining life that I live. I like to think interesting=bad...but it usually provides humor to the day because its THAT unbelievable. Lets back it up a couple of months to when I was minding my own business traveling to work (to my one of three jobs...crazy I know) when a black Yukon decides he wants to turn into the gas station from the left lane as I'm traveling in the right lane. This manuever (with no turn signal) caused my cute little BMW to collide with his stupid SUV. Of course his car was still driveable, mine was not. I called the police (he clearly did not seem concerned about that...although he did offer me a ride to work). The police came (of course the Milwaukee police came but really we were in Wauwatosa so then we had to wait for Wauwatosa police to come). They gave him a ticket for unsafe lane deviation...I figured great..piece of cake this will definitely get paid for by his insurance. Long story short, his insurance company refused to pay until an attorney got involved and then they got scared and forked the money over. Great...alll taken care of! Then I travel down to Chicago for my friends birthday party where I proceed to fall off someones back while going over a puddle (very large puddle might I add!) which resulted in ALOT of blood, a 911 call, an ambulance ride, CT scan, a broken nose, 4 stitches on my lip, a swollen face for 2 weeks, and looking like I just got Chris Brown'd. This little accident resulted in lots of questions, plenty of crazy (giiiirl are you okay) looks, alot of neosporin, continued use of Maderma, and probably plastic surgery. For the record, the doctor that did my stitches was VERY attractive and I told him plenty of times that anyone who is going to touch my face will also have a nice face...much like himself. So after the whirlwind of having a broken nose and going to doctor visit after doctor visit (did I mention I chipped a tooth...yes I did) I was driving down Bluemound road going to meet a friend for dinner when the car in front of me stopped because she was turning left which led to (yes, another) SUV slamming into me from behind and rear-ending me. By this point...right...how in the world is this possible??? So we pull over and exchange information and call the police who tell us we have to file our own police report. She discusses that she does not want to go through insurance so I tell her I will let her know when I have an estimate. She also mentions she wants to have my dad fix her car too. Perfect...I wreck all of my dad's cars but at least I get him business from the people that hit me?? So the next day I have to run this 5 K with all my friends in Chicago...on the way to the police station to file the accident report my key gets stuck in the ignition. Of course I call my dad who tells me to just risk it and run inside...DAD I'M ON 45TH AND NORTH ave in Milwaukee? Are you crazy? I'm not leaving my keys in the car! So I drive over to my dad's friends shop and pull in and he takes a look and immediately says, "yup you're ignition is shot." GREAT I have to still go to work AND drive to Chicago TODAY. Thankfully I'm really lucky and have amazing people in my life and my dad's friend gives me a car to drive but warns me that he just got it and does not know everything about it. At this point, I'm expecting to break a leg on this run..but I go about my business and do the 5 K which turned out AMAZING. I get back up to MKE and cannot get the gas tank open (you need a key for it). I amazingly managed to make it back to his shop...gave him the car back got in mine and drove away. Alright...that was the gist of how the last couple months have gone. Until the next crazy/interesting/but bound to be awkward thing that happens in my life.