I went to Denver hoping to gain some clarity out of my life and in some ways it did (I'll get to that point)...but in other ways it just confirmed my thought that my life is completely messy and totally awkward.
BOYS
You want to make out with me? Oh you have a girlfriend or are seeing someone or are hanging out with FIVE OTHER PEOPLE? Sounds like something that would happen to me. But "I'm fine if you're fine....ha right?
WORK
You want to blame me, your social worker, for your failed marriage, relationship with your child, and now the potential dead fetus in your fiance's belly?? Ok...I'll try not to take that personally.
FRIENDS
It's your birthday today??? OHHHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Are you kidding me? Remember when you at my birthday party....IN THE SUMMER? (oh wait none of you made it to my birthday for some reason....) But we are the 11 best friends that anyone has ever had.
First and foremost- I only attract people who have issues. I have no idea why that is. I have never been with someone who is normal or stable. I am also very neurotic myself so my roommate thinks I need someone calm that will balance me out...even the calm people tend to fool you and they are just as messed up as you are. Number two..things are ALWAYS awkward with boys with me. I don't like people and the second I do...something is totally awkward about the situation. I say one thing and do another. I mean one thing but do another. I act one way but mean completely the opposite. I care too much, but say nothing. I act like things do not matter to me...when a glance, a picture, or a simple sentence might mean something much more. In the past two and a half years I have been nothing more than the other girl in every single situation I have been in when it comes to guys. I have no idea why I appear to be that kind of girl (I always thought I was the bring her home to mom type). But apparently people think I'm easy to run over. Which obviously I am. SO- reading this below blog...how to get your shit together at 25 (ish). About relationships- drop the ones that will not matter at the end of the day...probably perfect advice to me. Since I clearly am constantly surrounding myself with people that do not care about me...I should probably be focusing on things that matter more than that. Also..getting myself out of debt. YES. LORD knows Marquette University racked up the student loans to the extreme. Find a hobby...do things that matter. Stop living your life in happy hour. Waking up with a hangover is the worst...we're getting too old for that stuff. Be someone..make something of your life. At the end of the year...I want to be happy with the person I am. I'm not so sure I am at this point. So my goal for next year is to attempt to get to that point.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/25956-11-things-to-know-at-25ish
The trip to Denver made me remember the amazing friends that I have and will have have for the rest of my life.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/make-friends-like-its-the-sandlot-or-stand-by-me/
I love this blog. Make friends like its the Sandlot. Make friends who will tease you when you're new but keep you forever. Make friends who will do anything for adventure. Make friends who are there for you when your parents aren't. Make friends who have emotional baggage...its called NORMALCY. Make friends who will make you stop and realize the beauty in life. Make friends..and keep friends who would die for you. And make friends that would find death with you. I have those friends. My friends are amazing. Anyone that reads this blog is that type of friend...I was blessed with the best friends in the entire world.
