Monday, February 20, 2012
I shouldn't have eaten those eggs (my fart smells like sulfur)
Sometimes all you need is a good weekend with friends and that's exactly what I had. My friend from high school made the trek from the hood of Detroit with her boyfriend to spend the extended weekend back at home. Rightfully so they spent much of their time with moi. We began the weekend by drinking a few bottles of wine and discussing the fact that my dad thinks I'm lonely and need to find a MAN to rely on...or be able to rely on. I'm pretty sure he thinks that I am a wine drinking, bathtub crying, bitter toward men, single girl. Awesome. So we got a bit tipsy and obviously utillized Facebook up the wazoo...to tag ourselves with our amazing quotes, or to tag random people in order to get them to recognize us (ahem). The next day resulted in going to a coffee shop...hold the whip, skip the breakfast....DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY POINTS YOU'RE CONSUMING? Friday evening clearly meant attempt at bowling which is best done in a small town. My friend's boyfriend is the male version of myself (I'd like to say a bit more neurotic..but I'm not so sure anyone else would agree with that statement). He is not familiar with small towns so he was enthralled with this bowling alley and the food options they had...STEAK SEASONED WITH COFFEE? The owner was quite annoyed we wanted to bowl (IT HAD BEEN A LONG DAY OKAY?)...uhh it's 10 PM...so we drank our drinks fast and traveled across the street to . the other bar. Not much better luck there...horrible 19 year old bartender (probably what was wrong right there...SHE WAS 19)...who did not know what a DOUBLE TALL meant for a drink. "What's that mean...like more alcohol??" Which resulted in us having a quadruple drink...aka with rail whiskey and fleischmanns....VOMIT. We slammed them expecting to get out of there as quick as we could because it seemed to be a high school reunion that we were not invited to. As we were attempting to leave...someone recognized me. Awesome. Of course. I worked with you in high school? You've been to my house? Oh now I remember. Oh and you're buying us a drink? Thank you. Guess we're stayin a while. Guess I'm accidently going into the boys bathroom instead of the girls. Guess my friend fell up the stairs. Guess it's time to go home. Saturday. Hungover. Big plans to open a bar over breakfast. Great idea...we'll name it Sisters (after my friend's boyfriend and I...because we call each other Sisters).We're supposed to go to dinner and get that great coffee steak at that bowling alley and visit our friend that bought us drinks..because he's working! Shoot...we're poor and too old go out two nights in a row. So we made Mexican and watched a movie and drank wine! I love my friends and weekends just like these. Next weekend I am making the trek over to the hood of Detroit (but not really the hood)...and can only hope for even better stories!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Midnight Mac and Cheese
I read this blog http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/go-get-wasted-tonight-with-your-best-friends/ which all about going out and getting wasted with your best friends. This brought me back to a conversation I had with one of my best friends in which we talked about all the funny things we do when we are together and drunk. This blog talks about giving yourself a night to let go with your friends and not worry about the day to day bullshit that we have (aka work, school, boys, or whatever else is on our mind..in our mid twenties). So I decided to devote this blog to talking about the funny, sometimes stupid, definitely odd, things that my friends and I do when we are (way) under the influence.
1. Drunk dial each other's parents: True story..this first happened on Halloween a couple years ago. My friend and I woke up the next morning and were looking through our phones (as we had a bit of a fuzzy end to the night) and she realizes she drunk dialed...MY DAD...from her cell phone! So from then on out we have tended to this...quite often. My dad gets nervous anytime I go out drinking with her....lets just say he has begun to unplug the phone by his bed.
2. Eat midnight mac and cheese: Now I say midnight mac and cheese because this tradition began in (probably) middle school when alcohol was not involved. Now it is more like 2:30 or 3 AM mac and cheese. The best part is when we go out drinking at home and stay at one of our friends houses...her mom will fill the pot of water, leave out the correct amount of bowls and spoons, put the box of mac and cheese out with the measuring spoons and all. Don't we have it made? Granted we are usually much too loud which results in Mama M coming down in her t-shirt and undies and yelling at us to be quiet (yes this STILL happens and we are almost 25)
3. Drink Boots: We have a classy German Bar back at home that we often congregate in, but I'd like to say that three of us began this tradition one night when we pounded two boots down between us. Lets just say there was much beer pong (yes bars do have beer pong) and dancing to follow that evening. BUT this has been something we do on a regular basis and have even invested in our own boots (sadly enough) so we can do it at home!
4. Play Truth or Dare: I'm totally not lying...this actually has happened, probably more than once. With siblings involved. Don't worry the siblings do not have to do anything gross (get your mind out of the gutters people!). Those smart phones got us with that truth or dare app...and that play dirty option? OH GEEZ!
5. Wine Nights: By wine nights I mean where 7 bottles of red wine are knocked back between three people. Or 4 between 2 people...where you wake up the next morning wanting (or needing) to call into work. Some people STILL have a hard time consuming red wine.
6. Dance: I am not coordinated at all. But get a few (many) drinks in me and I will bust a few moves. Get me in Pontiac (Michigan...ever been there?....check is it out..it's a trip!), at a dance club where I don't see anyone that looks like me, and I will down three double drinks as fast as I can and dance like a maniac and pretend I'm the deejay.
7. Go to Curling Clubs: This only happened once but it was so epic I have to put it in here. I mean, if you meet a nice middle aged couple at a bar around lunch time and they buy you lots of drinks and invite you to go curling with them at their curling club you should go right? Oh by the way...free drinks?
8. Drunk Jenga: This is just pretty fun.
9. Go to Coyote Ugly and drink $1 PBR: Mostly ugly girls shaking it on the bar? Right...it's not that cool but when you get $1 PBR in NYC it's THAT COOL! Best part....trying to find the subway back to the hotel...while drunk. Good thing some of our friends tend to stay more responsible than the others.
10. Going on day long bus pub crawls: SO HARD TO DO. Tests whether or not your body can sustain drinking for that long or if you will be the puker.
11. Manhunting: This is never successful...especially while drunk, but definitely gives some hysterical stories the next day!
12. Brewery Tours: We just never seem to make it past one...especially if it is Lakefront. They always get you with their tour and their (seemingly) neverending beer. But hey...I usually walk out of there stumbling a bit!
13. Happy Hours: You mean to go for just one and an app...or just ONE BLOODY. Next thing you know you're rolling into bed around midnight....one...or maybe even two.
14. Brewer Games: You always go thinking you will have just a few beers the entire game, which usually turns into about 10..which results in going into the game a few innings in, getting more beer in the game, (sometimes) getting kicked out of the game (for reasons we will NOT get into!), and ends with either going out for more festivities or probably not ending up at your own place.
15. C Capping: Truth. My friends and I have C Capped while drunk. Not that I would not do this sober..or haven't done this sober. But believe me, it's much funnier after a few bottles of wine and you C CAP anyone and everyone you could possibly think of.
16. Cutting Your Foot on Glass: This has happened to several of my friends, including me. Went right through my flip flop. And when you're drunk...you bleed...alot. And I hate blood. So of course I call my friend out to help bring me napkins. She comes out patches me up and the bouncer proceeds to tell her she would look BEAUTIFUL with cornrows (she is Asian). We look at him like he is crazy and then he asks if he can paint my toenails sometime. Believe me..we hightailed it inside real quick.
17. Talking to taxi drivers: Telling our life stories to taxi drivers has got to be one of the best things..and asking them where they come from and why they stay in these godforsaken places we travel to...aka PONTIAC, MICHIGAN.
18. Beach Drinking: Hanging by the beach and drinking all day has got to be one of the best summer activities. Except of course you get wasted by 3 PM and have to stumble home and get in the shower so you are presentable for Summerfest.
19. Summerfest: This is just a drunken activity. Has been since you started drinking and probably will be until you are dragging your kids there (although I remember my parents taking full advantage of the beer tent when I was being dragged there).
20. Drinking in Small Towns: Usually great. Never need alot of money. Tend to hit on by SOMEBODY. But tends to result in some ruckus.
I'm sure there is a bunch more things that I am missing/and or leaving out but the point is, it's true you can have a completely let loose night out with your best friends (hey I have them more often then I care to admit...but eh..whose counting anyway)...right?!?!?
1. Drunk dial each other's parents: True story..this first happened on Halloween a couple years ago. My friend and I woke up the next morning and were looking through our phones (as we had a bit of a fuzzy end to the night) and she realizes she drunk dialed...MY DAD...from her cell phone! So from then on out we have tended to this...quite often. My dad gets nervous anytime I go out drinking with her....lets just say he has begun to unplug the phone by his bed.
2. Eat midnight mac and cheese: Now I say midnight mac and cheese because this tradition began in (probably) middle school when alcohol was not involved. Now it is more like 2:30 or 3 AM mac and cheese. The best part is when we go out drinking at home and stay at one of our friends houses...her mom will fill the pot of water, leave out the correct amount of bowls and spoons, put the box of mac and cheese out with the measuring spoons and all. Don't we have it made? Granted we are usually much too loud which results in Mama M coming down in her t-shirt and undies and yelling at us to be quiet (yes this STILL happens and we are almost 25)
3. Drink Boots: We have a classy German Bar back at home that we often congregate in, but I'd like to say that three of us began this tradition one night when we pounded two boots down between us. Lets just say there was much beer pong (yes bars do have beer pong) and dancing to follow that evening. BUT this has been something we do on a regular basis and have even invested in our own boots (sadly enough) so we can do it at home!
4. Play Truth or Dare: I'm totally not lying...this actually has happened, probably more than once. With siblings involved. Don't worry the siblings do not have to do anything gross (get your mind out of the gutters people!). Those smart phones got us with that truth or dare app...and that play dirty option? OH GEEZ!
5. Wine Nights: By wine nights I mean where 7 bottles of red wine are knocked back between three people. Or 4 between 2 people...where you wake up the next morning wanting (or needing) to call into work. Some people STILL have a hard time consuming red wine.
6. Dance: I am not coordinated at all. But get a few (many) drinks in me and I will bust a few moves. Get me in Pontiac (Michigan...ever been there?....check is it out..it's a trip!), at a dance club where I don't see anyone that looks like me, and I will down three double drinks as fast as I can and dance like a maniac and pretend I'm the deejay.
7. Go to Curling Clubs: This only happened once but it was so epic I have to put it in here. I mean, if you meet a nice middle aged couple at a bar around lunch time and they buy you lots of drinks and invite you to go curling with them at their curling club you should go right? Oh by the way...free drinks?
8. Drunk Jenga: This is just pretty fun.
9. Go to Coyote Ugly and drink $1 PBR: Mostly ugly girls shaking it on the bar? Right...it's not that cool but when you get $1 PBR in NYC it's THAT COOL! Best part....trying to find the subway back to the hotel...while drunk. Good thing some of our friends tend to stay more responsible than the others.
10. Going on day long bus pub crawls: SO HARD TO DO. Tests whether or not your body can sustain drinking for that long or if you will be the puker.
11. Manhunting: This is never successful...especially while drunk, but definitely gives some hysterical stories the next day!
12. Brewery Tours: We just never seem to make it past one...especially if it is Lakefront. They always get you with their tour and their (seemingly) neverending beer. But hey...I usually walk out of there stumbling a bit!
13. Happy Hours: You mean to go for just one and an app...or just ONE BLOODY. Next thing you know you're rolling into bed around midnight....one...or maybe even two.
14. Brewer Games: You always go thinking you will have just a few beers the entire game, which usually turns into about 10..which results in going into the game a few innings in, getting more beer in the game, (sometimes) getting kicked out of the game (for reasons we will NOT get into!), and ends with either going out for more festivities or probably not ending up at your own place.
15. C Capping: Truth. My friends and I have C Capped while drunk. Not that I would not do this sober..or haven't done this sober. But believe me, it's much funnier after a few bottles of wine and you C CAP anyone and everyone you could possibly think of.
16. Cutting Your Foot on Glass: This has happened to several of my friends, including me. Went right through my flip flop. And when you're drunk...you bleed...alot. And I hate blood. So of course I call my friend out to help bring me napkins. She comes out patches me up and the bouncer proceeds to tell her she would look BEAUTIFUL with cornrows (she is Asian). We look at him like he is crazy and then he asks if he can paint my toenails sometime. Believe me..we hightailed it inside real quick.
17. Talking to taxi drivers: Telling our life stories to taxi drivers has got to be one of the best things..and asking them where they come from and why they stay in these godforsaken places we travel to...aka PONTIAC, MICHIGAN.
18. Beach Drinking: Hanging by the beach and drinking all day has got to be one of the best summer activities. Except of course you get wasted by 3 PM and have to stumble home and get in the shower so you are presentable for Summerfest.
19. Summerfest: This is just a drunken activity. Has been since you started drinking and probably will be until you are dragging your kids there (although I remember my parents taking full advantage of the beer tent when I was being dragged there).
20. Drinking in Small Towns: Usually great. Never need alot of money. Tend to hit on by SOMEBODY. But tends to result in some ruckus.
I'm sure there is a bunch more things that I am missing/and or leaving out but the point is, it's true you can have a completely let loose night out with your best friends (hey I have them more often then I care to admit...but eh..whose counting anyway)...right?!?!?
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